musings of a neurotic mind

i am supposed to (re-)write what i think is the “postmodern condition” (according to lyotard) in relation to cyberspace for my thesis. sounds like a big deal of fun, doesn’t it? being tired seems to become one of my new standard condition at this time of the day. well, today i actually i have a valid excuse: i had to get up at 7:30 am to go to the doctor’s to get my annual flu shot and to have some blood drawn for my thyroid parameters. (no more slacking when it comes to thyroid check-up!) so i am stuck with lyotard and a fairly blank page on my screen right now…

just like the tour my thesis is finally (as anticipated) coming to an end: i plan to wrap this thing up on sunday. what’s still missing are the introduction and the summary which i intend to write after the review of the chapters by my supervisor. everything that has a beginning has also an end.

this is the final week of thesis writing. one more film and then i am done. for now. i am pretty burnt out today from watching Matrix Revolutions. it took me three hours for the first 45 minutes so i guess you’ll get the picture…

lance is one step closer to the historic 6th win and i really expected him to take the yellow jersey today as he flew up the mountain like he did in 2001 and 2002. he is stronger than in 2003, that is for sure. but the tour is not over yet, it ends next sunday in Paris and that is all that matters. so… go lance!

yeah, it’s the matrix trilogy all over again. i am basically done with the first part and tomorrow i’ll head right into the second one which promises to add some twists and turns to the already complicated matter. if all goes well i will be finished in two weeks from today! so, stagger onward rejoicing…

what suprises me on a daily basis is how actually the analysis of a given movie turns out in the end. i usually watch the movie several times, take some notes and transcribe the dialogues of the most important scenes; important to prove my thesis or whatever. while doing so i mostly have a rough concept in my mind where the analysis is going and what i actally want to say, but nothing concrete… just some idea, yeah, maybe that would fit in here or that might be an explanation why this is so. the creative part and the real analysis is done in a second or even third step when i go through my notes, transcripts and screencaptures and figure out what aspects of Lacan’s or Zizek’s theories would fit in there. and by doing so i usually discover some deeper meaning, something that was not there when i first made the mental concept. this really surprises me and actually keeps me going. Lacan actually would disagree… he would say that the “deeper meaning” was always there but i just did not see it… so the truth is out there… we just have to look for it… look for it very closely.

the chapter on Minority Report is finshed as well. that means that there is only the Matrix trilogy left. three movies in three weeks — sounds realistic to me. so let the fun finally begin, i have been waiting far too long to get down to do what i wanted to do in the first place… apply lacanian psychoanalysis to the Matrix phenomenon.