the presentation on wednesday was pretty exhausting so i’ve been taking it easy the last few days. i know that there’s still plenty of work ahead of me… the fun has just begun. btw. i am surprised of the second season of 24. all in all i would say that it is way more violent than the first one, but i guess the last few hours are rather lame as far as the plot goes… but the first 18 hours are riveting! jack bauer kicks ass.
Archive for October, 2003
24: the second season
Friday, October 31st, 2003done, but not finished
Wednesday, October 29th, 2003the presentation i’ve been preparing for weeks went very well today. i was forced to skip a few slides because we were short on time, but overall i am satisfied with the performance. however, work does not end now… there is still this little paper that needs to be written… i am very tired right now and i guess i’m gonna hit the sack soon.
citalopram, anyone?
Monday, October 27th, 2003there is better living through chemistry. i’ve been on medication for almost five years now. generally, i feel pretty well in spring and summer, but fall and winter is more or less like hell. i can’t change my life, i can’t change the problems i am facing (let alone solve them), and my motivation is rather low. i keep telling myself to carry on, to get something done, to try to kick some ass. it’s hard to do so because there is this damn cloud inside my head, covering my thoughs in deep resignation. i need to get the work done, i am supposed to do a presentation on wednesday… i have to force myself to do so… it sucks.
neocron
Sunday, October 26th, 2003neocron, yes, again. i needed a few more screenshots so i shortly entered the game for a few hours yesterday. i can’t help myself but i have ambivalent feelings towards this game. on one hand, a part of me somehow yearns to play it, to immerse myself in this universe and to leave the real world behind. but on the other hand, i hate the game for it’s concept and gameplay, for being an enormous illusion of freedom you do not have. it’s really strange how a phenomenon like a MMORPG can generate such strong feelings.
stuck inside your head
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003sometimes a song describes how you’re feeling better than words can do. this is especially true today.
“I know
It’s stuck inside your head
You’re alone
You better get used to it
And I know
The feeling has to end
You’re strong
It sucks you in again
And you’re lost
You can’t make any sense
This world
It tears you limb from limb
And hold on
You’re nothing but the best ”
(Our Lady Peace – A Story About A Girl)
do i complain a lot?
Tuesday, October 21st, 2003well, that’s the big question, isn’t it? one could get this impression when reading my blog entries. i am regularly complaining that life sucks, but i guess in reality i do not mean it. my life is ok, although i think it could be better… writing a PhD thesis obviously involves some tasks and pieces of work you do not necessarily like to do but need to be done. bring it on and get the job done. sometimes it is really a tedious job… anyway, i believe that a certain amount of complaining about one’s life (and job) is allright. otherwise, life would be perfect and nothing left to improve…
headaches
Monday, October 20th, 2003damn headaches can ruin your day, especially my all-time favorite kind of it: the famous hat syndrome. however, i did not come up with that term. i picked it up in school when learning about sleep deprivation and – if i recall correctly – it describes a type of headache where your head hurts like you are wearing a too tight hat or cap. and that is how i am feeling today: wearing a too tight hat… it hurts behind my eyes, at my temples, and at the back of the head. nevertheless, the work needs to be done, the articles on identity and the internet needs to be read. it sucks, as usual.
every second counts
Friday, October 17th, 2003pain is temporary, quitting is final. that observation is not from me but from Lance Armstrong’s latest book, “Every Second Counts”. do not do things half-heartedly but 100%. life’s too short to be a “slacker”. this book is so inspiring again. just like in “It’s Not About The Bike”, dear Lance shares his philosophy with us and i am glad he does so. he’s been a inspiration for me for a while now… hey, there is a reason that i put the famous Nike ad poster with Lance Armstrong above my bed. beat the odds, do it. pain is really temporary.
halo and eax
Wednesday, October 15th, 2003finally, halo was released for the PC last week. got my copy on monday and started playing… so far, so good. now i am at the level were you are in the covenant ship and have to rescue the (captured) captain. at this stage, the game is almost unplayable, i can’t aim neither drop grenades because something is slowing down my system dramatically! it can’t be the CPU (hey, this runs even on a p3 733 mhz!) and surely not the graphics card (brand new fx 5900). so, what’s left? the fault is my “antique” soundcard, a 1999er model of the famous SoundBlaster Live Player. after turning of EAX (which suppossedly isn’t handled correctly by the soundcard), speed improves and makes the game great fun again… the downside: music and what’s left of the “environmental audio” is really awful… the soundcard is the oldest component of my pc, so i decided to replace it with a current model: SoundBlaster Audidy2 ZS. it should arrive tomorrow.
life’s unfair
Sunday, October 12th, 2003that’s nothing new, but this time it is really unfair. a good friend of mine – only slightly older than i am – was diagnosed with leukemia this week. he’s a decent guy and now his world has been basically shattered… it’s difficult to keep a positive attitude towards life considering these facts. the most valuable thing in life is health. all the other things like money or friends comes second or third place.